You are viewing xtoolchickx

The Nothing Song.

Recent Entries

1/29/07 07:13 pm

I smell pot coming in through my window.

And I swear to god I'm not already high.

I've been having these really strong desires to... better myself, if you want to call it that. I mean, I am taking a Personality Psychology course, but still. I'm content with the way things in my life are going right now, but I feel like something's missing. I'm thinking it wouldn't take too much effort to either take up some dance lessons (I'm leaning towards swing dancing), or taking up the drums again, or exercising three or so times a week.

I think having a room that's clean (or usually clean) is directly correlated to knowing that your life is in order.

Thank god for having a clean room.

1/22/07 02:29 pm

If anyone ever feels like making me a happy girl, all you have to do is buy me Lindt chocolate. Preferably dark chocolate. Mmmmm.

So I think I've gotten myself in a slight dilemma with this boy here, but I figure next time I see him I'll tell him I'm not looking for anything right now. And honestly, even if Andrew was out of the picture, I don't think he'd really be 'my type', anyway. I could see myself getting bored of him pretty quickly. So yeah, I'm kind of hitting myself over the head asking myself why I decided to kiss him, but alas. These things happen eh.

I bought my statistics notes/text, so I suppose I should catch up on the last two weeks of statistics. At least I have Jack Bauer to look forward to tonight. ^__________^

Oh, and apparently Peeping Tom is coming to Vancouver in April! I'm so there.

3/27/06 03:26 am

'Effing. Tired. There's a 10% chance I'll make it to my Linguistics class tomorrow... but we shall see.

Ole and Manori came to hang out for a bit, and (score!), I got two free boxes of cereal today - Ole gave me Honey Nut Cheerios and Dan gave me his box of Rice Krispies. I'm all stocked up on cereal for the next couple of weeks, me thinks.

Not a whole lot to update on, 'cept for the fact that I studied about five hours today. I kid you not. And it's not like I have a midterm tomorrow or a presentation or anything, I just really sat down and got a shitload of work done. It felt pretty good though. I even helped Dan with his three loads of laundry (and managed to sneak in some of my clothes with his too - can't really pass up free laundry!), and watched Jon and people play Super Smash Brothers, or whatever that game's called. I've only tried it once and my skills were, um... quite laughable.

So aside from tomorrow being Monday, this week's looking good. Manori's having a house party on Friday night, and Saturday night is Totem Formal. Kinda sucks that Dan won't be able to dance or anything (at least I'm assuming he won't be able to, heh), but it should still be a good time. If it's anything like Winter Formal was I'm sure it'll be a good time.

... Rawr. Night.

2/27/06 02:22 pm

Quiz thing. It's pretty accurate.Collapse )

2/15/06 07:02 pm

I'll make a written entry in a little while, but here's a much needed picture-update.



My Drunken Weekend.Collapse )

12/17/05 08:07 am



We'll Miss You Anant!Collapse )

12/2/05 02:26 pm

So I'm actually going to get off my butt and exercise for once. One more day left of classes, thank god.

Oh yeah, if anyone's bored they should check this out. It's pretty accurate.

http://www.crush007.com/love.cgi?id=1133494731mkk

11/28/05 09:30 am

Because I have nothing better to update on;

Ask five questions.

Any five.

No matter how personal, private, or random.

I have to answer them honestly.
I have to answer them all.

In turn, you post this message in your own journal;

& you have to answer the questions that are asked to you.

11/17/05 08:40 am

I love how I have my priorities in order. I really need to get some reading done for Philosophy and Psychology, but instead I'm updating on my e-journal. Thumbs up for me.

I kind of wish I brought my camera last night to the Dillinger Escape Plan show. Holy shit. Last time I saw a band have that much energy was when I saw Converge. Or maybe The Mars Volta. The vocalist was all up climbing on the walls (on top of the speakers) and practically hanging from the ceiling. Yeah... so much energy. I loved it. The other bands were great too, I quite like HORSE the band and Hella now. Between the Buried and Me played too... eh, they weren't bad, but I didn't find their music anything too special. Hella was sort of hard to get into, but I can definitely appreciate their music. But mmm... much love for Dillinger Escape Plan. I sort of wanted to join in all the thrashing happening, but I knew I had a midterm the next morning, plus I saw a lot of guys twice my size come out of the pit after a few songs all dazed and probably hurting. My friend Brian who went, who's like twice the size of me, ended up spraining his knee really bad too. :\

So I finally got to meet Dave as well. He lives like a five minute walk from me, but we never really hung out before, heh. He seemed really nice though, so I'm hoping the not-hanging-out thing will change. And wow, his lip piercings. So hot. I've actually been thinking of getting a lip ring or a labret sometime soon, but we'll see. I kind of need to read up about it first, and make sure I know a decent place to get one. Money's probably an issue there too.

So a brief update on my 'dating-life' before I get back to studying. Sometimes I'm hesitant to write about it, but I guess trying to put it in words sort of helps things become more clear for me. Anyway, I'm starting to think that I have a 'boyfriend'. Well, I know I don't actually have a boyfriend, but I'm starting to think things are leading towards a boyfriend. This potential boyfriend being Johan. I've been spending a lot of time with him lately, all his friends call us a 'couple', and we've had some really amazing conversations lately. I think it was about a month ago, soon after I met him, we were talking about relationships and he said that he wasn't really looking for anything serious now, especially because he just got out of a long term relationship. So a few nights ago I told him I was curious why he didn't want a relationship right now - if it was because he wanted his space/freedom, or if it was because he wanted to be free to date other girls, or whatever. And the first thing he said was that it seemed like I misinterpretted his words, that he didn't mean to say a relationship was out of the question. And then he told me how he's never tried dating two girls at the same time, how he just couldn't do it. So being free to date other girls wasn't the reason there either. So I'm not quite sure what that means. He did tell me that it was sort of a relief breaking up with his now-ex because she was a bit clingy and had some personal problems. But the fact that he's not interested in dating anyone else, the fact that we talk every day and pretty much see each other every day, the fact that I'm getting to know all his friends and they all assume that we're together, the fact that I go over to his place to cuddle and have these long conversations and fall asleep next to him, well... all of this is sort of leading me to think that things are becoming more serious with him. Which is all fine and dandy, really. I just have a slight dilemma that hopefully I'll be taking care of today. And that dilemma is Quentin. Yes, I am still 'dating' him. At least I think I am. I talk with Quentin online a lot, but it's not like we see each other that often anymore. I'm busy with school, he has work, we have different things happening on the weekends and such. So when we see each other it's maybe once a week, and it's usually just to watch a movie or walk around downtown or grab coffee or something. So it's pretty much very casual dating as of now. Which is nice, I really don't have any complaints. The only thing is, is that if things start to get more serious with Johan or if I do end up in a relationship with him I wouldn't want to still be dating Quentin on the side. So my plan is to talk with Quentin tonight just to see where we stand, if what he has in mind was to date other people and yeah... I don't know. I just want to talk with him, about 'us'. And I can assume how he feels as much as I want, but assuming is almost never any good.

I've realized it's so much easier to talk about things that I normally have a hard time talking about if I bring them up with the person early on when I get to know them. Not too early mind you, that'd probably just scare some people away, heh. But I brought up the topic of relationships with Johan pretty soon after I met him, and now I feel like it's so much easier to ask him about 'us' or about relationships, whereas I get sort of nervous thinking about bringing it up with Quentin because I rarely have these conversations with him. Well, you live and learn I guess. The plan is to bring it up with Quentin before or after the movie tonight (we're going to go watch Saw II), so yeah.... wish me luck.

9/13/05 05:24 pm

Oh, the joys of switching classes.

I sat in a beginning German class today and I'm thinking I'll switch from my scary-difficult Spanish class to a beginning German class. I was actually motivated to learn during that hour, and it made me recall the German I remember from when I was living in Austria. Plus the teacher seems really nice. And plus there are cute guys in my class. XP The only problem is trying to sort out my decision with the 'rents, and buying/selling the text books that I need/don't need.

It's odd, but I think my memory's dying on me. I'm trying to recall what I did just earlier today, and for the life of me I cannot remember. I still get the days and dates mixed up. I forget names all the time. I forget where I meet people. Often enough it's hard to focus in class.

However, I do remember that I was in the cafeteria this afternoon and sat with this guy named Joe from England. He asked for my phone number and texted me earlier today, and we ended up spending the majority of the night together. As in we went out downtown (so he could buy some beer), and we hung out in his room and then watched a DVD in my room. Omg, I almost forgot how gruesome Battle Royale is. But yeah... I realize it takes time to develop actual friendships and closer relationships with people, but I'm glad it's starting to happen. :]

No classes until 7pm tomorrow... I love university.

9/12/05 04:28 pm

My mood fluctuates between eagerness and general happiness to semi-homesickness and indifference all the time. I really hope this is normal. I can go to bed feeling like I want to stay out later, like I can't wait for the next day to start, to waking up and getting out of bed is the last thing on my mind.

It's when I'm on my own in my room that I feel like I could sleep the whole day and not care. Like time is passing by so slowly and I really wish I could be back in the comfort that I call Japan. But when I'm with people and basically not thinking so much, I don't want the moment to end and I love taking in all the new experiences and people and conversations.

I still feel like a foreigner. I wonder how long this is going to last.

9/11/05 06:32 pm

So tired. As usual.

I spent a good half of the day with Quentin. Time usually flies by when I'm with him. I bought an Explosions in the Sky album, as well as a Paul Auster novel. We went to a couple random cafes for lunch/dinner. The cafes here are really nice. And really cheap.

I went back to his place and watched some weird movie, something with Jude Law/Gwyneth Paltrow/Angelina Jolie in it. After that was 24 Hour Party People, which was a fun movie. I got to meet his roommates, Simon and Vincent. And oh my... Vincent is cute. :x

Anyhow, it was a well spent day. I'm thinking the next time I see him will be around my birthday, he said him and Kyle are going to take me out or throw a party for me. Or something. LESS THAN ONE WEEK UNTIL I'M LEGAL.

I got back to campus around 12:30am and Ami picked me up, so we decided to hang out back at Vanier. Now I'm kinda wishing I lived in Vanier instead of Totem, I know a lot more people living in Vanier and that's where all the crazy parties happen. Heh.



24 Hour Party People.Collapse )

9/9/05 04:31 pm

Well, it's only been two days into classes and I haven't done my Spanish homework that's due tomorrow. Hah.

Actually I might have to change a few courses around this weekend. I'm thinking of dropping the Spanish course I'm in for an easier one next term, and taking beginning German this term instead. Relearning German again would be interesting. Hopefully that'll work out. I wanted to take some classes in Film, but unfortunately they're all filled up.

Today was fun, Ami, our new friend Will and I wandered around downtown for a few hours. And I finally bought some stuff for my room and put up some posters and pictures to make it feel more comfy.









9/8/05 09:33 am

I can tell already that I'm going to appreciate sleep here.

I was out for 14+ hours straight yesterday. Orientation all morning and afternoon, followed by some poster shopping/wandering around, and my two hour Philosophy class. I originally thought it was going to be three hours straight, so that was good news. My orientation group was comprised of ten other people in my Philosophy class, so it was good to see some familiar faces when I got there.

So this year I'm taking;
Philosophy
Psychology
Biology (ick)
Spanish

All of them seem interesting (or at least relatively easy) except for Spanish. I don't know if I'm going to have to change classes. The teacher speaks in Spanish the whole time, and there's a ten minute oral presentation due in about three weeks. I cannot speak fluently and smoothly at all. Which might be the case for a few other students in the class, but not the majority. Eeep.

On a good note, I met a girl in that class named Chrissie, she seems really cool. She's into the same sort of music as I am, and she seems really friendly. She's in my Psychology class too, and I met another guy there named Jaren from California. That seems to be the most fun part about classes so far, meeting all these new people. Otherwise it's just been listening and taking notes so far. It's overwhelming going from a class of 1-10 people to a class of 200-300 people. Not good or bad, just... different. I guess that statement follows for a lot of things I've been experiencing here.

Off to meet Ami soon to have dindin with her at the cafeteria. Totem Park cafeteria stinks.

P.S.- It's funny that even when I'm in Canada I still get crushes on the Australian boys. XP

9/6/05 04:45 pm

I'm starting to feel the slightest bit homesick. It's so overwhelming moving from a senior class of sixteen people (with most I've known for a good four or five years), to a freshman class of 4000+ people.

It's all good though, for the most part. Last night was... interesting. I went shopping at that huge shopping mall with Ami and this girl we met, Wai-Ling. At night we went wandering around random dorm houses peering in people's rooms and writing stupid random messages on people's white boards. Good times. We hung out with a sleepy Jeff and nearly ended up at Wreck Beach (a.k.a. Nude Beach), but the cops showed up.

I've been hanging out with this guy Ash lately, although I think he's lonely. Or something. He's nice, and quite cute (he's got the whole shaggy hair/emo thing going on), but he's kind of... quiet. He sent me a message on Facebook and then called me ten minutes later asking what I was doing. I ended up hanging out with him at a barbecue out on the field for an hour, then headed over to the bus stop to meet Quentin. This time I got to introduce him to a bunch of my friends and we went to my dorm room to watch a movie. I felt bad 'cause I had this house meeting to go to which lasted over an hour and had to leave him abandoned in my room. Meh. We hung out 'til 11pm then walked back to the bus stop. He made up a song for me which was cute (even though it was only ten seconds long, haha). We might hang out again Thursday since I have Thursdays completely free of classes. Awesome.

Orientation in eight hours. Must sleep.

9/4/05 04:50 pm

Aha, university is great. So many interesting people.

Here's a (vague) list of people Ami and I have met so far.

- Tweety Bird. Or Tweets, for short.
- Max/Osaka Aquarium Guy. He was playing the guitar today and had huge glamour shades on while wearing a striped scarf.
- Butterfly. Yeah, that's what she calls herself.
- Jeff. Apparently liking Physics is normal?
- Antoine. HE LIVES IN MY BUILDING. OH LOVE.
- Cute Australian boy Robbie.
- This Indian guy whos name starts with a V. Ami and I are determined to be his best friend. He reminds me of Tejas.

'Kay, I'll stop there for now.

It's strange, but I realize a lot of the people I'm meeting are Japanese. It's a lot easier to relate to them, and we already have a common bond. I don't know if that's it, but it's sort of interesting how people probably assume I'm Canadian or American but I'm hanging out with Japanese girls.

There was this floor meeting tonight with pretty much everyone on the floor introducing themselves and going over rules and stuff like that. Then afterwards equaled free coffee and cookies with music. I met a lot of new people that way which was nice. Everyone was hanging around afterwards asking who had drinks, heh. There's this girl on my floor (and I believe she's in the room next to me) named Meredith and she reminds me a lot of Lisa Cline.

Gah, I miss my friends from Japan, even though things are going great here.

9/2/05 04:03 pm

Omg. So tired.

I was out for basically fourteen hours today. International Orientation was today, from 9am 'till about 10pm. I didn't get back to my dorm until nearly 11pm, thanks to the bus. The only downfall today was standing in the cold waiting for the buses after food and music in the park. The park downtown is huuuuuuge by the way.

I ended up meeting a bunch of new (interesting) people. Ami and I have nicknames for just about everyone, heh. I finally met someone living in my dorm, he lives in the floor above me. His name's Robbie. Not Rob, or Robert. Robbie. Cute.

So Quentin and I are getting quite... close. Which is not a bad thing, I don't think. Maybe surprising is the right word. Like his roommate called him (and apparently he's not all that close to his roommates yet since he just moved into a new place), but he already mentioned me to them, apparently. Scary to think what he's said about me, but he referred to me as "Trish" on the phone, hehe. Seems we're hanging out Monday to check out a neat music store and probably hang out downtown as usual. I keep forgetting to take pictures, dammit. I'll bring my camera on Monday.

Tomorrow's another 9am-er, so I guess I should head to bed. Nighttttttt.

8/30/05 04:24 pm

Ahaaaaaa, Ami and I went to a nude beach today. It was so surreal. Like, old guys were just playing Frisbee naked. Some guy walked past us and asked if we wanted a beer. People are just tanning naked. If this wasn't culture shock then I don't know what is.

... I think we're going again tomorrow.

We walked about 27.826 miles today when this guy, Graham, showed us around downtown. Yeah sorry, next time pictures will be taken.

As for now, I leave you with pictures of my disaster of a dorm room.



My Mom would be so proud.Collapse )

8/29/05 04:54 pm

I can't believe how lazy I've been. If I had the energy to clean up my room right now I would. I wish I could find the cord to connect my camera to my computer, I'd post a picture of my disaster of a room. And I still haven't figured out how to lower my bed. I swear, I'm going to fall out of bed and dent my head within the next week.

I spent about two hours with Ami online on MSN being an asshole to people on my friend's list. It was so worth it though.

I also ended up hanging out downtown with Ami and this guy named Sean Lee. And yes, he actually did remind me of Keef a bit. Tomorrow = hangout with this guy Graham at a nude beach, haha. I think I'll keep my clothes on though.

Um, yeah. I don't know why I made an update, I'm so tired. Bedways for me.

8/28/05 02:52 pm

Good news - I've been keeping myself busy.

Yesterday I moved into my permanant dorm room. It's a mess right now, but once I clean up everything there should be more space. It's small for a room, but purdy darn big considering it's a dorm room on campus. I have no complaints. Well, aside from my bed. There must be a way to change it, but my bed is set up so. darn. high. I had to climb on top of my suitcase to get into bed. Also internet isn't working in the room(s) yet, so I'm sitting here in the lobby/office updating.

I've mainly been keeping busy with Ami and Yuka. We went out for dinner last night and today we did some grocery shopping and such. I was starrrrrrved today. I need better eating habits.

Oh, and just in case anyone was curious about my 'love life', Thursday night with Quentin went well. Shit, I told myself I wouldn't think about it too much, but this boy seems kind of amazing. He took me to this really nice fancy restaurant where they served great food. I asked him if he went there often.

Quentin: "Nah, not really... I mostly just save it for special occasions."

I'm not really sure what kind of special occasion Thursday night was, but okay. He keeps on telling me all these places he wants to take me to and all these local bands that are coming that he wants me to see. He took me back to my dorm room and we cuddled while listening to the new Sigur Ros album (which I'm now officially in love with, by the way).

... Yeah, cuddling plus listening to Sigur Ros with a boy is really not a good idea. ♥

8/25/05 04:06 pm

Just said bye to my Mom a couple hours ago. For the most part it's liberating, but it makes me sad knowing that she's sad that I won't see her for a good four months. I feel like it's a really big change that I should be excited about experiencing more than anything though.

Culture shock is starting to get to me. I know there are tons of international students here that are in the same situation as I am, but still. I feel... strange. I feel like I fit in more when I was in Japan, despite not speaking the language and physically looking different. I felt so much more at home. I wonder how long it'll take me to get used to things here. I have a feeling if I was in the states it'd be ten times as hard. Canada seems really open minded and relaxed, but still. I feel like a foreigner here, but then it's also strange telling people that I'm from Japan because I don't quite feel Japanese either. Eh.

So turns out I met that guy Quentin last night(the one I happened to see downtown a few days ago). We got along quite well if I do say so myself. I haven't been thinking about it much, aside from the fact that he's fun and quite cute. I'm meeting him tomorrow night too. My brother thinks that's a bad idea 'cause that's what 'serious couples' do, haha. I don't really know what he's thinking, but I've been so over my head with things here that I'm not really analyzing whatever's happening with this guy right now. I just want to wait and see how things go.

BED TIME FOR TRISH.

8/24/05 09:34 am

Last night I listened to a new Sigur Ros song on Myspace.com. Loveeeeeeee. ♥ 35 more days.

I've been on the computer a fair amount of time, but for some reason I can never be bothered to update. Not good. Anyhow, I guess not a whole lot exciting has been happening. I got a new cellphone. For all my buddies, my number is; 778-998-7971. Yes, I've already memorized my phone number, hehe. So please send your lovin' there. o(^-^)o The cellphones here are so different from Japan, I feel deprived. Cellphones here are so... boring. I only got a choice out of three phones (unless I wanted super expensive ones), and my cellphone here looks like the way cellphones did in Japan five years ago. Oh well. I'll get over it.

The other day was interesting - Ami arrived to Vancouver on Sunday and just so happened that we bumped into each other downtown, out of all places. And this guy on MSN that I've been talking with that lives in Vancouver was downtown, and I ran into him too. Well, not really ran into, I was in Starbucks so he didn't see me, heh. Funny how I recognized him though.

My Mom leaves in less than two days. Half of me's excited, but half of me's scared.

8/22/05 11:49 am

20 people.Collapse )

8/21/05 02:29 pm

I'm listening to Rob's mix of music he made for me. Someone tell me why I didn't listen to Rush earlier?

I think something's wrong up in my head. Either that, or my sleeping schedule's still out of whack. Maybe both. I feel tired all day. Like I could seriously sleep all day. And I'm not quite sure why. I think it's still that longing to be on my own and have my freedom and all that other stuff that comes with being a teenager and being away at university. I don't know, it's hard to explain. I'm not quite sure how I'm feeling myself. I'm enjoying myself though. Last night I went out to make a phone call to this guy who said he'd show me around downtown, when I saw that Korean girl and her friend in the nearby coffeeshop. We hung out there until it closed (near midnight) and then went back to her dorm to hang out a bit. People here seem really great.

Ami's coming tomorrow, hurahhhhhh. \(^-^)/ I wish I could say I know the campus and downtown well enough, but I don't. So we can be lost and wander around together.

Tomorrow = shopping. I need stuff for my room to feel homey. I forgot so much stuff back home. Or I just couldn't fit it in my suitcase. Oh yeah, for whatever reason I thought I was getting a roommate in a cramped space of a dorm room, but turns out I have my OWN SINGLE LARGE ROOM. Sweet deal.

Bedways for me now.

8/20/05 04:50 pm

Holy crap...

... I got my Sigur Ros ticket in the mail and I'm in ROW 2. FUCKING ROW 2.

I can die happy now. Yessssss.

Matt's dumb.Collapse )

8/20/05 02:40 am

Quick update since it's 11:30am and I haven't had breakfast. And I'm supposed to meet my parents soon.

Actually I don't know why I'm updating. A lot has happened while nothing has happened at the same time. I guess a lot's happening up in my head. I haven't been feeling too great lately though because of jet lag and I think I ate something bad yesterday, I felt ill. Sleep helped though, today's been the first time in probably a week that I've been able to sleep in.

I might regret this sooner or later, but to be honest I wish I was away from my parents. It's like I know I'm at university and going to be living on my own and all the other stuff that comes with going away to university... but my parents are still here. It feels like if I'm already at university then I shouldn't be with my parents.

Also I think they're losing their memory. At least my Dad is. I don't know, maybe because I'm cranky on a lack of sleep, but I feel myself getting annoying or impatient with them, so I'm taking that as a sign that I should be on my own to figure things out and come December I'll be missing them and I'll appreciate seeing them.

Damn, I probably sound like a bitch.

Anyway, Ami chan is coming in one day, and Yuka's parents left today (I think), so I wonder if I'll have time to hang out with her again. I still need to do some shopping and I want to explore the Vancouver area. I've been messaging a couple people from thefacebook.com and people are already giving me their phone numbers asking me if I want a campus/Vancouver guide. That's the other thing, I feel that while my parents are here I should be spending time with them. So I've been having to tell people that maybe next week would be cool to hang out. I do want to hurry and meet more new people, but I guess I have four years eh? No rush.

Anyway, my cereal's calling me. Oh, and last night I had a BAGEL WITH CREAM CHEESE. Delicious. They should hurry and invent bagels in Japan.

8/17/05 04:45 pm

So I arrived in Vancouver/University of British Columbia safe and sound. Thankfully it's been pretty distracting trying to orient myself around campus, getting things I need for school/classes ready, and spending time with my Dad, or else I'd be missing Japan too much right now.

I got to talk with Matt and a couple other friends that called me at the airport before I left. Needless to say that made things even harder. And Matt sent me a message so it was waiting for me when I checked my computer. I miss everyone so much. ♥

On the other hand I've already met quite a few people here, considering I've only been here about 24 hours. My new best friend is the cute construction worker across the street from my dorm. Heh. There's also a Korean girl that's living nearby on an exchange program, and a Canadian guy named Dane that'll be moving to Totem Park residence the same time as me too. Neato. And oddly enough I ran into this girl that used to go to my school, Yuka. I never really talked with her but obviously we recognized each other and she's staying at the same dorm I am too. It's just crazy how someone in Osaka is going to be studying at the same university as me and we just happened to meet on the street. :)

Alright, well I really am too sleepy to make a decent update, so perhaps next time. Until then. ♥

8/16/05 09:31 am

I have forty minutes before I leave my house. I'm still checking around the house to make sure I haven't forgotten anything. My Mom's going to be pissed when she comes back home, I left the kitchen and my room a mess. How typical.

I can never stay content with one mood for very long. I start thinking I should be excited about going to university and having so many new experiences. Then I think of some certain people I'm going to miss terribly and wonder if our relationship's going to change and I feel like having a breakdown. Then I think of close friends and know that no, our friendship's not going to change, and it's only four or so more months until I come back for vacation to see everyone. Then I think of people that won't be here in four months and who knows when I'll get to see them next. Then I think about meeting new people and seeing the city and having so much freedom. Then I think wow, I'm not going to be living in Japan anymore.

I wish I could set my head straight, but who knows how long it'll be until that happens. I'm sad, but I'm trying not to be.

I'm dumb and I really should have taken more pictures yesterday, but here are the three I took (two with Toby, one with Ewan).





This one of Ewan makes me feel a bit teary eyed.


I'm sure I'll be able to hook up my laptop somewhere once I get to Vancouver. At least I hope so. I feel like I'll want to email friends as soon as I step off the plane.

I'll miss this place. Until December. ♥

8/14/05 11:27 pm

I have very little say. Which shouldn't be the case.

I'm not pregnant. Or dying.

What keeps me from feeling sad is thinking I'll be able to see the majority of the people I care about here in Japan in four months. That's not so far off.

I'm missing and thinking about some certain people terribly right now.

... I don't want to leave Japan just yet.

It's probably not the best way to look at things and I'm sure my perspective will change once I get to Vancouver and settle in, but I don't want anything to change. I want to go to Vancouver and have four months pass by me and be back in Japan catching up with people and things being the way they are right now. However I know that's not entirely realistic. Things are going to change. I just have to find the best way to accept that fact. It's just hard right now.

8/13/05 07:18 pm

Only 57 more hours. It's slowly but surely becoming more of a reality that I'm leaving Japan and moving to Vancouver. It's so exciting yet nervewrecking at the same time. Saying my goodbyes to people makes me more hesitant to leave this place.

A lot of things have been happening lately. Most of them good, mind you. The last couple days made me realize how much some people mean to me. But it all feels so... hectic and too much to take all at once.

Speaking of, I'm sure I have nothing to worry about but I can't help but worry... Where the hell is my period?? It's six days late, which is a first.

Off in two hours for my last all nighter in Japan. For a good four months, that is. Hopefully all will go well.
Powered by LiveJournal.com